by Nora MoschNora is a senior Molecular Biology (Cell & Developmental track) student at Pitt. She plans to get a PhD in her future. Cognitive dissonance: the anxiety that results from simultaneously holding contradictory or otherwise incompatible attitudes, beliefs, or the like, as when one likes a person but disapproves strongly of one of his or her habits. Developed by U.S. social psychologist Leon Festinger (1957). There is a sense of cognitive dissonance in America and specifically among college students. If you ask anyone on the street what they value, most will reply with family, friends, or significant others. But what we do on a day to day basis doesn’t reflect these values. When was the last time you actively worked on your friendship, put real time in? Or do you just see your friends in passing on the way to class or during a study break? You probably see them for a few minutes, maybe an hour or so to get coffee between classes. The cognitive dissonance arises when we realize what we value is not where we focus our time and effort. College forces students to value grades. But those grades only matter for a moment. I bet you don’t remember your grades from your first semester here. If those grades actually mattered than you would remember every exam score. Any over-achieving student will tell you that those grades could mean the difference between getting into medical school or not. I’m here to tell you, they don’t. Maybe a D vs. an A matters but an A- vs. a B+ matters less. Once you leave academia, the world doesn’t care about your grades. They are just arbitrary letters that may or may not reflect how “smart” you are. Every job recruiter or graduate school knows that. You spend hours and hours studying for the Bio 2 Final and two years later, the grade is just a letter on your transcript. I came to this realization last November, over Thanksgiving Break. I had a very hard semester and it almost ruined a lot of my relationships. At that point, I had been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. Yet, I was so focused on my grades, I became seriously depressed. I spent most of my time in my room alone, studying and barely eating. If I did eat, I made microwave pizza rolls and chips. I suffered and refused to talk to ask for help. Spending all of my time studying, I ended up hurting my relationship with my boyfriend: I was yelling at him for no reason and blaming him for my problems. Ultimately I had a wakeup call when we ended up splitting up. I realized how much I valued my relationship and how I took advantage of it. At Thanksgiving, I came to a decision. No A was worth losing him. I would have to take a lower grade if it meant studying less and putting time into fixing the relationship. At the end of the day is a B+ really any worse than an A-? Grades only last a moment. The relationships you have with the people around you will last forever. I can’t tell you what my freshman year grades were, but I do know that because I worked for my relationship, we ended up back together and happy. So take a look at your life. I mean really look. What do you value? And how do you spend most of your time? Why are you taking the classes you are taking? Do you value friends and family but only see them once and a while because you have to study? Trust me, the hour you spend watching jeopardy while on the phone so you can yell at the contestants with your mom is worth the difference between an A- and a B+ on your next exam.
6 Comments
12/19/2022 09:36:20 am
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1/4/2023 12:18:17 pm
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